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Dealing With Death During a Special Occasion

Allow yourself to grieve while still enjoying the season.
Allow yourself to grieve while still enjoying the season.
Losing a loved one is difficult anytime, but when the loss occurs at what should be a time of joy, it compounds the grief and adds new elements to the loss. Did you lose a grandparent right before your wedding? Or lose a parent during the holidays? Did a favorite aunt pass away on your graduation day or a sibling on your birthday? Yes, these situations are painful. But take heart that there are ways to cope.

Go Ahead With Your Plans
Your loved one wouldn't want you to cancel your wedding, or your birthday party, or your holiday plans. They would want you to go ahead and enjoy the celebration, even though this seems very painful without them. You don't feel like doing anything except hiding under your covers, but forcing yourself to look reality in the face gives you strength. If you need help going through it, consult with your psychic or a trusted mentor.

Fulfill Their Requests
Did you make a promise to the person before your loss? Fulfilling this request will give you a sense of having done everything you could for them. If an unfulfilled promise lurks, you won't establish peace in your life. Do whatever it takes to fulfill promises so you and your loved one can rest.

Create New Traditions
Without this special person, it may not feel right continuing your old traditions. One family in Alabama tried for years to recreate their dad's Fourth of July barbecue before admitting it just wasn't the same anymore. The barbecue was something he enjoyed doing for the family, but too much work for them to continue without him. This is okay! Build new traditions and let the old ones remain in your special memories of this person.

Don't Isolate Yourself
This is, perhaps, the hardest part. It's easy to hide because nobody really knows what to say to you, and they often say the wrong things. But having others to support you - even if their consolations are cumbersome - is what really matters. Accept that their intentions are to help, whether it looks like it or not. You'll be healthier grieving with others than on your own. Speaking with a live psychic is one way to avoid being alone.

Recognize the Normal, Natural Sates of Grief
There are five stages of the grieving process, and unfortunately, no way around them. Allow yourself to move through this process naturally, so you'll come out at the end as a healed, whole person. No, it will never be the same. But you will have a sense of acceptance so you can move forward with your life.

1. Denial - You can't believe they're really gone. 

2. Anger - You know they're gone, and the loss makes you mad. 

3. Bargaining - You begin thinking of all the things you should have done, such as recognize a problem or be there for them at a time they needed you. You try to "bargain" with the higher powers to make the pain go away. 

4. Depression - As your mind accepts the loss, you feel depressed. 

5. Acceptance - You finally realize they're gone and accept this fact, and you're ready to face life without them. 

Unfortunately, there aren't any shortcuts. But after this process runs its course, you'll be able to continue without the grief, pain, and depression that seems so devastating now.

The best policy: take it one day at a time.
Posted in Family And Friends
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